Words from Grandma

Thank you, Ruth Ayres for reminding me to celebrate daily blessings and for sharing a platform to post my celebrations.

Last year I called two of my grandmas one night to catch up.  I was in a funk, but I was hoping talking with them might help.

My grandma with Alzheimer’s delighted in my call, thanking me repeatedly for taking the time to call and telling me how much I made her day. The other grandma gave me relationship advice, telling me not to worry about my future. She pointed out all of my accomplishments and told me I should be so proud of all I had done and that if I kept doing the right thing that it usually always works out. She told me, “Most people get what they want eventually.”

My grandma knew I had just ended a 7 year relationship and although the relationship wasn’t right for me, I was still struggling. It took every effort to get out of bed in the mornings, and I retreated to my bed the moment I got home from anywhere. I still fulfilled my commitments, but after every one, I rushed back to bed. It’s the only place I felt safe- the only place I wanted to be. Unlike relationships from my past, I knew I had to grieve this one.

I wanted to throw myself into another relationship and stick a band-aid on my wounds, but I also wanted it to be different. It hurt like hell. I spent most days in my pajamas- wasting the days away binge watching Netflix and crying.

My grandmas’ words resounded with me that evening. I frantically reached into the kitchen drawer for paper to jot down their wisdom. I tried to scribe their advice on the post-it’s I fished out, and I hung them up to serve as mantras.

My Grandma Ginny reminded me that I’m okay just being by myself; I don’t have to have another person to be okay, and if I want that, I’ll eventually find it when the time is right. My Grandma Ferguson reminded me that sometimes when you are struggling, it’s best to reach out and be there for someone else. This in turn usually helps you, too.

These post-it’s have been on my full length mirror ever since. Some days I notice their words and other days they blend in with the surroundings. But I noticed them this week, and I couldn’t help but laugh- so much had changed in a year. I met an amazing man and suddenly all of that worry and fear seems so silly.

I’m celebrating today that like the seasons: life changes. Nothing is permanent. And when life is not going great, helping others can make you feel better.

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