There was a moment in my yoga class today where I felt a surging sense of self-confidence as I held challenging positions I wasn’t able to before. I slightly giggled at the person next to me, their face asking, “What the hell is she talking about?” as they stared at the instructor in utter confusion, trying to mimic a pose named something I can’t pronounce.
You want me to do what? Their face questioned as they lowered themselves in defeat to their mat.
For a moment, this knowing what to do and being able to hold the position when the person next to me didn’t/couldn’t, filled me with pride.
Until…the next pose when I nearly face planted.
Suddenly, I wished I could take back all the silent bragging I just did in my head. It’s like the yoga gods provided some instant karma, defending the newbie who should be commended for just showing up.
As I was snapped back to that moment and put in my place, I realized I’m not a yoga guru, not even close. (I can’t even touch my toes after all.) But I realized even more that it was never about the person next to me.
I’m not competing with them.
They aren’t competing with me.
My pride came back when I recognized it as my own, knowing I’m a little stronger than before and that’s all that matters.
Me just continuing to show up is all that matters.