Namaste

There was a moment in my yoga class today where I felt a surging sense of self-confidence as I held challenging positions I wasn’t able to before.  I slightly giggled at the person next to me, their face asking, “What the hell is she talking about?” as they stared at the instructor in utter confusion, trying to mimic a pose named something I can’t pronounce.

You want me to do what? Their face questioned as they lowered themselves in defeat to their mat.

For a moment, this knowing what to do and being able to hold the position when the person next to me didn’t/couldn’t, filled me with pride.

Until…the next pose when I nearly face planted.

Suddenly, I wished I could take back all the silent bragging I just did in my head.  It’s like the yoga gods provided some instant karma, defending the newbie who should be commended for just showing up.

As I was snapped back to that moment and put in my place, I realized I’m not a yoga guru, not even close.  (I can’t even touch my toes after all.)  But I realized even more that it was never about the person next to me.

I’m not competing with them.

They aren’t competing with me.

My pride came back when I recognized it as my own, knowing I’m a little stronger than before and that’s all that matters.

Me just continuing to show up is all that matters.

Celebrate

Celebrate

I’m often reminded to celebrate the small victories. To focus on the positive, the haves, instead of have nots. Thank you, Ruth Ayres for reminding me to do this and sharing a platform to post my celebrations.

In summer especially, my to dos feel daunting, like I have to get my life back together after 10 months of neglecting bills, house repairs, etc. I don’t even know where to begin, and some days I don’t even start.

I coined the term reverse lists (probably not an original idea), but it has made all the difference in my days and has combatted some of my anxiety about being overwhelmed with all I need to do. Throughout the day, I write down what I have accomplished. Therefore, when my to do list feels daunting, I can celebrate the tiny victories of my day (recorded on my reverse list) and see what I’ve done, instead of where I’m coming up short in the never ending list of life.

I’d also like to celebrate all the other blessings in my life right now:

1. I joined a local writing club. These ladies and one gentleman stretch my thinking and encourage me when I don’t feel comfortable putting words to the page.
2. I have time to get stuff done and think about what I want, even if it feels like it’s not enough time.
3. I’m establishing a morning ritual and realizing the importance of taking care of myself first. My morning involves daily prayer reading, making my bed, and exercise before making a healthy breakfast. I’m grateful for having time now to establish this and hope it will continue once the school year gets underway.
4. I’m learning the importance of living simply and not having to have things just to have them. I feel best when my space is decluttered, and I’ve started piles to get rid of unwanted items and even started making money for my old junk. I sold several unwanted items this week!
5. I’ve finished two professional books in the last couple weeks that have me buzzing with new ideas to try for next year.
6. My sister had an amazing time in Grenada, and I’m so happy for her.  I’m grateful the Viber app helped us keep in touch and being able to see pictures of her trip.

Jessica holding a sheep’s heart

7. I reconnected with an old friend and am grateful for restarting our friendship.
8. The people in my life push me to become better. They are always encouraging me and sharing what has helped them on their journey. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people and networks in my life.

9. My hydrangeas are finally blooming (after three years), and I’m able to cut some and bring to people.  It’s so fun to say, “These are from my garden.”