One Day Defeat

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I returned back to the land of the living today.  It was the first day since January 31st  that I went to work and the first time I was out of bed for longer than a half an hour.  I’m exhausted.

I’m glad to be flu free after a long week and a half of complications that landed me in the hospital and gave me all sorts of weird side effects long after.

It’s funny how your mind let’s your forget so much after just a short break.  I’m somehow surprised with my students’ behaviors, the fact that there are numerous negative comments from subs, and the fact that they’ve all managed to lose their textbooks from their desks. (How do you lose something when you don’t get out of your seat?)  Many items were stolen from my desk and spread throughout the room.

It’s been one day, and I already feel defeated. I honestly feel scared. Scared for the future. Scared for their futures.

As I asked students to get out their notebooks for the upteenth time and heard a student mumble that I was stupid, I wondered- when did this become acceptable?  When was it okay to disrespect your teacher/your boss  or to not give your best.?  When did we start to expect to have everything without working at all?

Something has to change.  We have to want more for ourselves and for the future.  We cannot continue to accept disrespect and poor behavior.  I wish I could scream this from somewhere and have someone listen.  We can’t teach children if they won’t listen.  We need parent help.  We need to take things back to “yes ma’am” and “no sir.”  We need consequences and accountability.

I am so grateful to my parents for raising me to value working hard.  I cannot not give 100% on anything.  There are no substitutes for respect/manners and your work ethic.  I just wish I could help my students see this.  I want these kids to learn and have a better life so badly, and their indifference continues to break my heart.

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6 thoughts on “One Day Defeat

  1. Oh Jen! I hate reading you were sick and in the hospital. This year can’t get over soon enough. I know you are doing your best with a class of kids who seem to have no moral compass. This will be the year you never forget.

  2. loved your piece—-because it lets me know I”m not alone. it is absolutely heartbreaking to me how many of our students just.don’t.care, and it seems to be acceptable to treat everyone with contempt.

  3. Teaching is hard enough without losing out to illness. Let this year be a year of learning while in the trenches. It, too, will pass, and a good year is coming your way. Don’t know for you, but it seemed every 3 years for me!!! Take care of yourself and know you are not alone.

  4. Thanks, Tam. I’ve never struggled like this before. This has been the most challenging year of my 4 year career. It makes me want to give up and never teach again.

    I appreciate your kind words and response.

    Thanks for reading,
    Jen

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